1 Corinthians 7:36-40

Scripture: 1 Cor. 7:36 If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry—it is no sin. 

1 Cor. 7:37 But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. 

1 Cor. 7:38 So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better.

1 Cor. 7:39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.

1 Cor. 7:40 Yet in my judgment she is happier if she remains as she is. And I think that I too have the Spirit of God.

Teaching: Paul continues his teaching on marriage and singleness in light of the “present distress” (likely the persecution Christians were facing in this time). It’s important to remember this context, that Paul is saying these things pastorally, to help shepherd the Corinthians in their thinking. When we face a trial of any kind — be it financial, health, physical danger, or others — it is very hard to keep a clear head and clear eyes on what is most important in that moment. The same is true of when we are facing strong temptation, as Paul mentions in verse 36. In the event that one or both are experiencing a seemingly uncontrollable desire to be with the other, they should marry. They should not have marital relations out of wedlock — they should do things the right way, the godly way. In that case, it is not sinful. A man and wife are supposed to be together. 

Paul contrasts this with those who do not feel this same temptation, or who have their sexual desire under control. Once again, he recommends that it is not a bad idea to remain single or, in this context, unencumbered so as to serve the Lord in a completely undivided way. These verses echo Paul’s points from earlier this chapter: your allegiance is to the Lord, take care not to divide those loyalties. This is the kind of clear eyed and clear minded thinking that we need when we are in a trial, and demonstrates the power of God’s Word spoken to us by trusted counsel and shepherd-leaders in our lives. Paul concludes this chapter making mention that he believes this message, this perspective, is coming through him by the Holy Spirit. We know today that this is the Word of God speaking, even if Paul was unsure in that moment.

Takeaway: The last critique we often accept is that we need critiquing. We’ll tell ourselves that we need to lose weight, we should give more to charity, we should go to bed earlier and wake up earlier. But when this kind of critique comes from someone else, we are often abrasive, dismissive, and even angered that someone would suggest such a thing to us. We’ll tell ourselves, “How dare that person tell me what I should do?” We’ll find ways to dismiss their critique or their suggestions. And sometimes we are right to; not everyone should be granted access to our lives and not everyone’s suggestions should be accepted as true. But there is a biblical role for a pastor in our lives — a shepherd leader that we look to for guidance, support, and care. We all benefit from a third party — someone not invested in our current distress, temptation, or mindset — who can speak into our lives with biblical authority. Paul was such a shepherd leader, as we see here in this chapter. He is extremely practical in his guidance, is acknowledging of but undaunted by the realities of sexual desires, and always pastoral in his approach. You can hear in his words his love for this congregation and his fervent desire that they cling firm to Christ in all things and gain a Christ-like perspective towards marriage. I imagine that many who heard these words tried to write them off as the words of someone who does not “get” them or does not understand what they were truly feeling and experiencing. But that is the exact reason why they needed a Paul to speak into their lives. It’s just as important that we have the same; praise God that we not only have His Word in the Bible, but that we have true shepherd leaders amongst the Church who are willing to speak the Word of God into our lives when we need it most. What a blessing to have wise, godly counsel.