1 Corinthians 7:4-5

Scripture: 1 Cor. 7:4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.

1 Cor. 7:5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Teaching: 1 Corinthians 7 details Paul’s instructions for marriage, which, upon reading, are somewhat conciliatory to personal preference within each marriage. He gives very few absolute rules and leaves much up for what works within each marriage. However, he does give a few principles to which husbands and wives should strive for a Christ-glorifying marriage. Each of these instructions hinges on the fact that the biblical understanding marriage comes from Genesis 2:24, that a man and wife become “one flesh” when they are joined together as man and wife. This “one-flesh” relationship has many applications, but these verses focus on sexual nature of it.

God’s design for marriage is for the husband and the wife to no longer have sole authority over their own body, as we see in verse 4. Part of the marriage covenant is that each member no longer owns their own body – the other has a stake in it and it’s well-being. Paul teaches this here in the context of sexual relations within marriage, but this is a principle that can extend to other areas of health, care, and concern for the spouse’s well-being as it relates to their flesh. It is not good that a husband would neglect or cause harm to his body as his body is not fully his own, or vice versa.

Paul applies this one-flesh principle to sexual relations in verse 5, saying that husbands and wives should not deprive each other of sexual relations for anymore than an agreed upon time (for example prayer and fasting), as it opens a door for satanic temptation. The word for “deprive” is apostereo, which Paul also uses in 1 Corinthians 6:7-8 in the context of brothers defrauding each other in court, and that is the sense of it here as well. As husband and wife, each has entered into a marriage covenant and has been made one-flesh with the other; as Paul covered in verse 4, with that covenant comes expectations of sexual intimacy. Paul is not saying that when deprived, one member of the marriage is then justified in giving into sexual temptation or that it is the fault of the depriving spouse; but rather, why would a husband and wife want to give Satan a foothold into their marriage? Therefore, Paul’s instruction is that husband and wife should recognize that each has a common interest and stake in what the other does with their body and each should prioritize the needs of the other.

Takeaway: Dave Ramsey runs a well-known financial advising firm that prioritizes debt-free living and Christian marriage principles as they relate to finances. One piece of marital advice they commonly advocate for – and that is met with resistance – is for married couples to share their bank accounts. Over the past few decades, it has become more and more common for married couples to keep their bank accounts separate, withholding from one another what they have and simply agreeing which bills each will pay in service of their debts and bills. This is the kind of thinking that Paul is correcting in these verses. In our culture today, the concept of truly merging lives into one shared life is daunting. But this is God’s design! God’s design for marriage goes so much further than simply sharing bank accounts – it entails no longer being the sole authority over your own body. But in this kind of submission to one’s spouse, there is the incredible blessing of intimacy. When we submit to God’s design, we gain a partner for life. A person we can feel no shame in front of. Someone who truly knows us and in whom we can find rest and comfort. Marriage is meant to be an earthly relationship that points us to Christ.